Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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