I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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