Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
