i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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