After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
