This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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