he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Are we still banned from the library?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
