Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
