The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
