watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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