Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
