well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Randomize
