I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
