I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
