I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
