I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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