Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
