I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
