Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
In America we eat man semen.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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