Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
You have to summon your inner elephant
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
