What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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