I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
