Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
