I heard we made out
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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