Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Do vagina's smell?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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