If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
