Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
