I want to make a zoo with you.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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