It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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