just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
