I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
