Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
