I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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