everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
if only i could text you this smell
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
