this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
