I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
