I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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