He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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