Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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