didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
