I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
