After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
