scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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