The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
