Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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