Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
