Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
