So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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