Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The adults are the big ones right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
