Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
