Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
