Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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